A man's take on The Bachelor...
Him: My mom just got her laptop
Me: Haha it's easy to sign up for. She just needs to send some photos and a paragraph.
Him: I'm getting on this dumb show and I'm going to get down to the hottest meanest one everybody hates and the ugliest nicest one everybody loves... tv gold.
Me: Hahaha, then who do you choose?
Him: The hot one immediately, then she gives me a pttvotphj
Me: What? What's pttv?
Him: Prime time TV.
Me: hahahaha oh of course it does.. prime time tv over the pants hand job... wonderful.
Him: It's going to be the most talked about moment in tv history.
Me: Can you dump her right after?
Him: I'm going to be staring into the camera the whole time.