In Her Hazel Eyes

Can someone please tell me if it’s normal to dread meeting someone based on a friend’s recommendation? Is it normal to assume immediately I will hate this person and will be so uninterested I will turn to jelly mid-dinner and slide off my chair into a puddle under the table where the staff will have to mop me up while he finishes the chicken I couldn’t eat?

In my experiences I have found that whenever a friend of mine says they have someone in mind I would be interested in, I will not be interested and better yet, I will spend a substantial amount of time trying to figure why on earth my supposed friend would think I would be interested in this person in the first place.

“Oh, he’s so nice and has a great job,” is usually along the lines of how it’s pitched. First of all, have you met me? Nice? What would give you the impression I was looking for nice in any way, shape or form? Of course I want someone who treats me well but when I hear “nice” I envision I’m going to be having a drink with Ned Flanders or one of his fruity high-pitched sons who I’m sure are like 35 and balding by now. And second, a good job? What does that mean exactly? I’ll be the first to admit I don’t have any plans to marry a 7-Eleven manager but if by “good job” you mean he works on Wall Street… I’ll take a rain check. It’s taken me several years to come to this conclusion but I have finally figured out one of life’s biggest mysteries: Wall Street produces some of the douchiest specimen of men available on this planet. I KNOW! Right? Shocking.

Perhaps part of the problem is that what I visualize as my traditional type doesn’t seem to match up with who I fall in love with when it comes down to it. I have only been in love three times in my life and each of these men has been drastically different from one another. Given the chance, I don’t think a single one would be friends with any of the others. The sole quality you can trace amongst the three is that they all made me laugh. It seems once that quality is in place everything else I would take note of just falls by the wayside. If you were to line these men up without having had the opportunity to speak to them first, I think I would have only chosen to meet one of them based on looks alone.

So what does that say for me? I’m shallow? Perhaps. Or maybe I’m just in the process of getting to know what I really want. I’ve taken lessons from every experience I’ve had whether it be good or bad. I’ve learned I don’t need the best looking man in the room. My personality is not compatible with someone who is passive or indecisive.  I cannot and will not stay in a relationship with someone who doesn’t put in the effort I do. I do not want to date someone who is selfish or self absorbed. These are all lessons I’ve placed in my pocket along the way.

What I’ve learned I do want from a relationship is several things. I want a best friend. I want someone I can share my inner most thoughts with and not feel judged. I want someone who looks at me like I am their world. I want their glance to take my breath away. I want to know I can fall on my face and they will be there to pick me up. I want butterflies in my stomach upon the mention of their name. I want inside jokes. I want to never run out of things to talk about. I want to have so much to share I can stay up all night and not look at the clock.

Some might call me idealistic or foolish but I’m content in waiting for these things because I know they exist. At one time or another I’ve had them. Maybe not all at once or all from the same person but I’ve felt them. So that means if I have to go out and meet two hundred cheesy friends of friends who are “so nice and have a great job” I guess that’s what I have to do. The first of this next two hundred is apparently going to be on Friday and I can already tell you I’m going to hate him. Can someone please stand by with a mop?