In Her Hazel Eyes

Do you think our lives are shaped by a random series of meaningless events or that our destinies were written in the stars on day one? This is a question I’ve spent numerous hours pondering over. If my life’s map has been etched in stone all along, was breaking my arm at the age of eight always going to happen? Was having my heart broken at twenty two permanently in the cards? If at one time I had taken a left instead of a right would I have later arrived at the same destination? Or do you feel that the Butterfly Effect applies and this small change would have sent ripples out to set me on an alternate life course?

Though the idea that our lives are strung together by a series of random coincidences may seem slightly depressing, as someone who steers clear of organized religion, I have a tendency to veer towards this concept. I’ve never necessarily bought into the notion that there is some all knowing deity pulling the strings from a remote location somewhere among the clouds. If this were true, wouldn’t those who spend the most time in churches and synagogues become the most prosperous based simply on their dedication? Let it be known I am not writing this to denounce religion or to mock those who believe in such things as I find myself almost envious that many have so much faith in beliefs I struggle to accept as truth. 

I suppose if I am to accept the idea that someone has a plan for me I should also be accepting of the idea that there is a perfect person out there for everyone only waiting to run into his or her match. But this also brings up the question of whether or not you feel you have only one ‘soul mate’ out there.  If you meet this person and he or she passes away or moves to the other side of the world, is that it? I, for one, don’t believe in the idea of a ‘soul mate’ as that insinuates that you are not complete without finding this specific individual.  Do I think there is always the possibility of finding love after a particular situation has ended? Of course. If a woman gets divorced at forty-five, I’d like to think she has the opportunity to go out and meet someone else who can make her happy whether it be six months or ten years down the road. I believe there are multiple perfect persons for everybody. 

Everyone knows someone in his or her life that has never married, whether this be by choice or by life circumstance. A belief that every man has one perfect mate would be assuming this single person is unhappy or unfulfilled since he or she has not run into this missing piece.  And on another note, if our lives run along on a pre-set course were those alone always destined to be alone? And if this is true, if someone wants to find love and they have yet to, is there a reason for this? This all ties back into my theory that if you’re going to fall in love with someone, it’s going to happen by coincidence and not by any preconceived factors.  Whether you will bump into this person on the street by accident, make eye contact with them in a bar or are introduced to him or her by friends, I believe it is all by chance. 

That being said, put yourself out there. Go out and introduce yourself to strangers. Stay out later than you should and do things you think are out of your character. Let yourself have fun. The more outrageous situations you find yourself in, the more chances you’re allowing yourself to find whatever it is you’re looking for…. love, friends, career, happiness, fun. At the very least, the girl who spent her nights alone in her room certainly didn’t emerge with very many interesting stories to tell….