As a man.

Him: I just spilled a full cup of water everywhere.
Your fault.
Clean it womenslave.
Me: I'm only one woman. Did you get it on yourself?
Him: That implies that women can be individuals and I whole heartedly disagree with that logic.
Him: No. It avoided me and I it.
Me: So you're dry - get to cleaning.
Him: It's already cleaned. You're too slow womEn.
Me: If you could clean it so quickly, there's no reason to ask me for help.
Him: I wasn't asking.
Me: Can you, as a man, not handle it?
Him: I can and I did... it's just beneath me. As a man.
Me: Yet you're not coordinated enough to not spill in the first place. As a man.
Him: God made man to make accidents so that womEn could clean up and have purpose. You should thank man for accidents.
Me: How are you not married yet? It. Is. Shocking.