In Her Hazel Eyes

Teenage Thievery.

Sat, 18 May 2013 14:55:00 -0400

“Um… guys?,” whispered Ashley from behind the dressing room door. “Guys?...

"It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what things..."

Sun, 05 May 2013 13:34:11 -0400

“It’s the way people try not to change that’s unnatural. The way we cling to what...

Photo

Mon, 22 Apr 2013 10:13:09 -0400

But I… I would give you my heart… give you my...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 21:01:30 -0400

But I… I would give you my heart… give you my shoulder…

“It takes a lot of courage to be sad, but a fantastic life is not one that is placidly...

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 20:56:56 -0400

“It takes a lot of courage to be sad, but a fantastic life is not one that is placidly...

"Live your life, and risk it all. Take some chances, take the fall. Take your time, no need to hurry...."

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:24:00 -0400

“Live your life, and risk it all. Take some chances, take the fall. Take your time, no need to...

Photo

Sun, 17 Mar 2013 11:03:42 -0400

"But it was incredible. A fantastic experience. And it really helped me to… to put things in..."

Sat, 02 Feb 2013 22:16:25 -0500

“But it was incredible. A fantastic experience. And it really helped me to… to put...

“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” ~Coco...

Sun, 27 Jan 2013 17:06:46 -0500

“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” ~Coco Chanel

Photo

Tue, 15 Jan 2013 20:10:27 -0500

Ignoring the butterflies.

Sun, 13 Jan 2013 15:38:00 -0500

When do you know? When can you determine whether that butterfly in your stomach is trying to tell...

Passenger <3 Let Her Go

Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:26:51 -0500

Passenger <3 Let Her Go

"So therefore I dedicate myself to myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my suffrances,..."

Fri, 04 Jan 2013 20:44:13 -0500

“So therefore I dedicate myself to myself, to my art, my sleep, my dreams, my labors, my...

<3 John Lennon

Sat, 29 Dec 2012 11:49:43 -0500

<3 John Lennon

Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

Wed, 26 Dec 2012 23:49:00 -0500

Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

"I refuse to ‘look up.’ Optimism nauseates me. It is perverse. Since man’s fall, his proper position..."

Tue, 18 Dec 2012 14:47:07 -0500

“I refuse to ‘look up.’ Optimism nauseates me. It is perverse. Since man’s fall, his proper...

"I will tell you in another life, when we are both cats…"

Tue, 04 Dec 2012 20:47:29 -0500

“I will tell you in another life, when we are both cats…” - Vanilla Sky

Photo

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 22:21:02 -0500

"To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it..."

Thu, 29 Nov 2012 15:46:33 -0500

“To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it...

Every time I travel back to Connecticut for a holiday or...

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 14:28:17 -0500

Every time I travel back to Connecticut for a holiday or otherwise, at some point or another, I end up sitting along a rock wall looking out at this view. Most people have their go-to spots to relax and reflect, and this is mine. If you’re from Connecticut or grew up near the shore, this photo may conjure up a response similar to mine. To many, it’s just a commonplace picture of the ocean, but to me it speaks to so many memories I can’t even count.

If my high school years were set to a soundtrack, Dave Matthews Band’s ‘Live at Luther College’ double album would have been it. Yes, I am aware this is a complete and total cliche but still, it couldn’t be more true. The album’s blue and yellow disks will forever remind me of summer nights spent coasting around with friends, windows down, music blasting, without a care in the world. Our biggest nightly concerns were who we were going to run into down at the beach and who was having a party at their parents’ house that weekend. That and who borrowed who’s red Abercrombie surf shorts and didn’t return them. These are serious topics for 15 and 16 year old Connecticut girls. Don’t even get me started on the time my friend bleached a new shirt I loaned her… I’m still not over it.

Countless conversations have taken place within this photo. Break up conversations. Discussions of future marriages. Dozens of laughter filled rehashings of prior nights’ ridiculous antics. Within this picture, I can almost hear Stevie Ray Vaughan’s guitar riffs emanating from my parents’ house into the night and can smell the scent of a friend’s wood burning stove which made every article of our clothing that entered her house smell like it had been roasted in a fire. And don’t think she didn’t get a nickname for that.

Some of my happiest teenage memories include the sound of waves hitting the shoreline through my best friend’s childhood bedroom windows. This includes the many times we climbed into nearby sailboats that weren’t ours, sat around bonfires in the woods and drove by boys’ houses whom we liked… yes, girls DO do this, creepy or not.

It’s almost like I forget where I grew up sometimes since New York City is different in so many ways. When I graduated from college I couldn’t wait to get out of Connecticut and move on to something new. I certainly didn’t stop to think the memories of my childhood upbringing would start to fade away within the change. Sometimes I think I’ve been away for so long I’ve almost forgotten what it was like the live there.

Last Friday evening, I strolled into a town bar with a few friends and was greeted by at least fifteen people I went to high school with…something I would typically avoid. A few of these people I haven’t seen in at least ten years and while it was slightly overwhelming at first, it was actually nice to see people who remind me of where I came from. People who I will always share a common bond with whether we maintain a friendship or not. People who haven’t left our town and who haven’t changed all that much since college. Maybe it was the drinks clouding my mind but standing in a bar in this hippy town surrounded by people I’ve known for years while familiar classic rock played in the background felt somehow relaxing.

Talking to a few boys who graduated from high school in the town next to mine, it made me think of how much my taste has seemingly changed without my being aware of it. I am not sure when I went from being intrigued by hockey players wearing wool hats and North Face jackets to guys wearing suit jackets and gold watches. My teenage self would laugh at the men I’ve dated in recent years. It makes me think this city has caused me to let a piece of myself disappear that I want back. I’m no longer interested in red carpets and penthouse bars. I think I’d prefer to sit on someone’s back porch overlooking the ocean like I used to do. Give me a glass of white wine and a dock to lie on and I’m a happy girl.

I’d be more interested in sitting in that photo listening to the tide roll in under the stars than to eat dinner at some pretentious restaurant in Manhattan any day. I’m not quite ready to move back to the suburbs or Connecticut but maybe my idea of fun is slowly changing. I certainly never thought it would change back to what I once used to enjoy but maybe New England is more ingrained in my personality than I once thought.